The Parade

Today is the day before Independence Day. In the town we live in, they start out the celebration by having a small town parade. By a sheer miracle, my husband and I were kid-less and home together to sit out front and watch the parade this year. The route takes the parade down our street, so we just take a couple of chairs out front and watch.

Mom loved parades. When we were little, she would take us to them, more full of excitement than we were. When we were teenagers, she embarrassed the living daylights out of us. She knew the local firemen and police and would be jumping up and down to get them to blare the sirens and horns. And they always would as soon as they saw her. As adults, her sheer enthusiasm was contagious. She was so excited it was hard not to be excited too. She loved the sirens and the horns. She loved the bands, the color guard, the noise. She loved watching kids march along, some bedraggled and obviously overheated. She loved seeing the girls in pretty dresses. She loved the fancy cars. Mom simply loved parades.

So when the firetrucks and police made their way down our street, it was really hard not to feel her absence in a profound way. I made a video of the start of the parade, with all of the whooping of the sirens and the blasting horns. And I sent it to my dad with one line, "Mom's favorite part." And when they were right in front of us, I couldn't help it and the tears started. Thankfully my husband was sitting right next to me, to help me get my act together in a completely supportive way. I had told him all about Mom and the parades, as much as I could without crying that is.

I was happy to be there to support our community in their parade, but part of me wanted to run inside and just sob. Because I couldn't send the videos I took to Mom too. I doubt I'll ever be able to be at another parade without thinking of her. It's yet another thing that feels somehow wrong without her here. But I made it through. I'll keep making it through, because that's what you do, no matter how much it hurts.


Comments

Telford said…
When yo go to a parade again (and I know you will), just imagine hte being there, watching it with you. Believe me when I tell you she will see it through your eyes, hear it through your ears, semse it all with your every sense. She will be right there with you, helping you to enjoy everything, as always.
July 3, 2019 at 10:53 PM
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